A doddering and gullible Alien (who looks just enough like E.T. to avoid a lawsuit) crashes to Earth and lands in The Dirty Dirty”, a crime-riddled, gang-controlled neighborhood where even Waffle House wouldn’t set up shop. He survives the ordeal and soon meets a kindhearted and idiotically naive 10-year-old boy named Benjamin.

     E.Tizzle witnesses Benjamin’s Rainman-like mechanical skills and follows him back to his sister’s apartment with the goal of exploiting those skills through friendship and manipulation. Once he arrives, he quickly becomes entangled with the gang that runs the building and is spared only after they discover his unique talent: digesting organic materials and defecating their combined components in a compacted form. The gang immediately puts him to work synthesizing crack-cocaine — yes, they make him poop crack — and bestows upon him the name… E.Tizzle!

     The gang’s immediate success in the drug game attracts the ire of Tucker, a psychopathic, fashion-obsessed meth dealer with a band of muscular, flamboyant male strippers henchmen he’s named The Beefcakes. 

     If that weren’t enough drama in E.Tizzle’s weird-ass life, two intergalactic Bounty Hunters land on Earth with the goal retrieve him.You see, E.Tizzle is more than just a crack-pooping alien. So much more. He is an engineered bio-weapon of mass-dookie-destruction designed to devour alien armies whole.

     E.Tizzle has no plans to return to his life as a poop-based-weapon, after stumbling into the gang’s top spot, trumping Tucker’s meth business, and developing stupid emotions like love and compassion toward Benjamin and his sister Kim. But when it becomes obvious his presence is a danger to his new family, E.Tizzle does what any successful gang leader does: funnel drug profits to repair his ride so he can flee and avoid capture.

     Our lovable alien works fast to ensure his escape, but Tucker works faster. The Sweet Daddy Meth King (which is honestly what Tucker calls himself) contacts E.Tizzle to brag that he’s teamed up with the Bounty Hunters and kidnapped Benjamin and Kim. If E.Tizzle doesn’t surrender himself, Tucker will execute Kim and Benjamin!

     E.Tizzle trusts Tucker, like an idiot, only to have the Meth King execute the Bounty Hunters and take him hostage in order to manufacture the purest, and most profitable, meth ever made.

     Luckily Benjamin and Kim escape and round up the remains of E.Tizzle’s gang, along with the local addicts, to take on Tucker and The Beefcakes and rescue their extraterrestrial family member. The battle is even more epic than you’re imagining right now, and the Beefcakes seem sure to win… until Benjamin helps E.Tizzle consume Tucker and turn him into… well, it’s not pretty.

     With the threat of the Bounty Hunters gone, E.Tizzle stays with his new family and uses his “grand gifts of gastronomic engrossment” (try saying that three times fast) to produce high-grade manure and turn The Dirty Dirty into a much safer and greener community with a much lamer name: The Clean Clean.